I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
i came home at 4 a.m. and made a dozen eggs and three lbs. of bacon. my mom woke up and the only thing she was pissed about was that i used the whole carton of eggs, but then she sat down and ate with me
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
If someone made a breakfast cereal that was a cross between lucky charms and fruity pebbles and called it unicorn power with a huge fucking rainbow and a unicorn standing in a pot of gold on the box, they would be rich. Not only monetarily but spiritually as well...
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
Hey babe! Random question. Do you by chance have the pic of my nipples covered with ninja turtles band aids? Thanks.
You know you've been on Tinder too long when you're the guy cropped out of the profile pic. Of a woman you're still seeing...
you bleached my bangs. i have an interview later today and you assholes bleached my bangs.
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
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