I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
She said, and I quote "how do you run with something that big between your legs".
my roommate just showed up covered in dirt, drunk....with a whole ice cream cake that says "it's a girl".
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
Semen is not good for contacts.
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
Also: how drunk is your brother? He just left me a message as batman.
I figured you left because I was a shit show. Were you still there when I got locked in the bathroom and didn't know where I was? If not, that could have been a dream. I'm still not sure.
People spilled so much that there was a thin film of beer on the floor. You took a running start, screamed, "SLIP AND SLIDE!" and slid face first through the drywall.
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
With everyone putting up pictures of their moms on Facebook it's time to go single MILF hunting.
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
I've never sung with balls in my mouth
Randomize
