I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
you fell asleep during kickboxing this morning
how does that even happen??
I just puked into a plastic bag at a red light. Go me.
He showed up to the Seder drunk and tried to convince everyone that he could read Hebrew.
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
How's your Sunday morning ritual of shitting and throwing up at the same time going?
I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
I'm lying here drinking water from a shot glass..moving is not an option right now
I have been referring to it as "thanks for getting out of me day" all week. Do you think they will still take me to brunch tomorrow?
Taking Gomer to the ER. He tore something trying to stretch his nutsack enough to put his balls in his own ass. I need new friends.
my entire left arm went numb
you need to get that checked to make sure you're not wired to have strokes instead of orgasms
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
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