You act like I'm friends with her or something. I only screw her boyfriend!
Oh yeah.
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
my mom was by far the drunkest one there. best impromptu wednesday afternoon party ever
We have six bottles of wine and we are at target buying baby oil to grease up the sleds with, just in case you're interested.
I screamed so bad because I thought he was going for my sandwich forgetting it was in my hand
I'm on my way back with the wine... And a puppy. It was free.
I like how she'll post a picture on Instagram with her boyfriend and 2 hours later you'll send me a snap of her panties on your rear view mirror
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
The dick lei will go down in squad history
I would like to make it known to all of you that my penis is official retired, but it thanks you for the countless years of service you provided
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
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