Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
how can getting a pizza be this hard?
when you've been drinking 14 hours anythings impossible
At Grandmas for dinner. She is drinking a smirnoff ice. As soon as I saw it I had to stop myself from yelling chug.
if your not going to answer your phone this is just going to be an embarrassment tomorrow
Apparently, we were running around the apartment, singing into pickles, the routinely slapped our passed out friends with them.
Her roommate texted her and told her that her cat died. Now she's double-fisting bottles of wine while howling and wailing her dead cat's name. Not how I pictured this booty call.
Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis.
I saw a crackhead in a ballerina outfit riding a bike while waving her hands and one leg in the air. Never seen such talent in my life
4:37 am. You're wearing underwear and carpet skates. Borderline crying. You want to punch Morgan. Have not stopped singing Give Your Heart a Break.
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
I slipped in the shower today and broke my lighter..
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
When you can't finish your jumbo margarita and figure pouring it into a to go box will suffice... Midnight snack?
In case you're wondering... Yes walmart will judge you for buying vodka and pickles at 645am.
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