You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
It was a new level of awkwardness and terror. The high schoolers you fuck in the summer should never introduce themselves to your mom and godmother
hey. so did i get tied up by a jumprope last night?
Its 11am, im in the city in a pocahontas outfit, lost a heel and found a gold rolex in my lingerie.
She makes me want to eat babies and throw kittens in pots of boiling water.
I just found out my college boyfriend's nickname is actually a Dutch word for little cucumber.....it all makes sense now.
I feel like if tampons weren't meant to be microwaved, they'd have a warning on the box, so we should be okay...
You thought you were drunk? I woke up at 6 o'clock this morning with a cheeseburger in my left hand a drink in my right with my window half way down. it was raining.... fml
HAPPY AIDS-LESS FOURTH OF JULY YOU HEALTHY FUCK
I'm pretty happy on the couch eating Popeyes and watching Cops so if I go over there you better have drugs left
I took my makeup off with mouthwash. Seemed like a good idea. It worked.
The last I heard from her she said she was going to plant sunflowers, get drunk on white wine and listen to Everybody Wants to Rule the World on repeat.
Grumpy Cat is dead and fuck EVERYTHING.
Randomize
