Im eating ham and mustard naked, watching south park, but its totally cool cuz the paper plate is covering my nuts
the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
im taking a nap outside. wake me up in an hour.
way to go to work and not wake me up. when you get home youre rubbing me with aloe and giving me a blowjob. no excuses
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
Woke up naked on a bed full of money, doughnuts, and keys that weren't mine. Unsent dick pick on phone, and cheap cigar butt on my pillow. Also...I maybe hotwired my car.
I need a hobby that isn't dick related
The lady at the front desk wished you a happy hangover.
I POOPED CONFETTI TOO. Ingested unacceptable amount of it oh my god can I die from this?
Oh my god, my vagina is cursed. He's cursed my vagina so that no one but him can maintain a boner around me. I'm sure of it.
Already drunk, almost got in a fight with a bunch of irish chicks. And another with canadians. On my way to get a tattoo. I plan to regret this trip.
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
Randomize
