hey im gonna send you a picture of my dinner
if its a picture of your dick again we are no longer friends
Just finished putting caution tape around the tv. Sober me needs to prepare.
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
The car just stinks of weed and we are all sitting here trying to hide it from my mom by rolling down the windows, like it's not coming off my sisters boyfriend
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
Matt. This is the manager of qdoba. Pick up the phone. Your friend needs you.
Only in my life does a conversation about Hanukkah lead to sexting
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.
I told him finishing at the same time would be a long-term project. Like flipping a house. A sexual house.
Pretty sure my parents just hear me get off from the living room but I feel like they should be proud that I did it without a man honestly.
I got pull-out-my-nuvaring-drunk last night.
God I need to hump something, right now.
Dude why is my bed and bedding wrapped in bubble wrap?
Cuz u wanted to insure u had a safe sleep
Randomize
