remember when you found twisted pleasure condoms in my parents bathroom? theyre gone.
Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
Farmville is her only friend.
her last google searches are 'cheap african safari' and 'what does lion taste like'
this is like black Friday for my dealer. I'm literally standing in line.
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
It was all cool until he grabbed my vag and started screaming: THIS IS MINE.
The moment you realize you should grow up: you're snorting your fathers percocet script with your old health insurance card, while your parents are on a 10 day cruise in the carribean...
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
Drunk enough that you donated $50 to taco bell, because they serve a great purpose.
Totally clawed myself in the face during sex. I can die happy?
Blacked in cold and wet, with them areound me singing Aaaaall we are saaaaayiiiing is YOU PEED YOUR PANTS
Girl... I just woke up with a bloody mary in a to go cup on my nightstand and two hours late for work.. I'm sorry i can't go out on weekdays anymore. Luckily my boss was just happy i was ok
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
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