you screamed 'he won't go on a date with me, but he gave me a free junior chicken'
well imagine, me dating the manager equals free junior chickens for everyone
I knew I was in the wrong bar when "I have a daughter your age" was some random's pick up line.
You can't just hum the Jaws theme song when you pull down my pants.
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
It's a given that you're going to get peed on at a country concert
When I was leaving this morning he gave me some candy off his floor to prove he was a nice guy... He definitely knows the way to my heart. Best one night stand ever
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
I think that's the first time I had "ass rimming" scroll across my phone at work
His boxer smelled like clean laundry while I was giving him head. It was delightful, like sucking a dick in a spring meadow.
This reminds me of the time you were crying and puking in the toilet at that party while i did shots of tequila in between blow drying your feet. miss you!
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
My first hangover at work. I'm officially an adult.
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