Your date looks like the Cloverfield monster. good luck.
I got drunk at the beach today. I got the word Badass! tatooed all the way across my foot. Probably a bad idea.
we're getting ready to take strippers to breakfast. I love my life.
trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
Sitting at a red light. Windows are down. I'm blasting Gaga's "Disco Stick" and doing an interpretive dance to it because I think I'm hilarious. Look to the left and see two Phi Delts that I know with their windows down. They are horrified. I am probably going to lose their Facebook friendships.
What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
This is random, but did i give u a handjob in the middle of the night or was that a dream?
well seeing as i got a call at 5 am from the hotel manager telling me my cousin was passed out on the lobby floor...not good
He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
like i literally can feel my uterus getting frustrated at me for not being pregnant.
Yeah I'm just gonna shower and drink a gallon of coffee and drunkenly write my research paper. It'll be fine
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
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