I like how you refer to peeing in the car as "super cute"
I just farted so loud that my cat got so scared he fell off the couch.
I need hand sanitizer and jesus.
he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
Just served breakfast to a bunch of hella drunk kids. They kidnapped the birthday boy for his 21st and he was wearing a disney onesy and bunny ears. They've been drinking since before dawn, why don't we have friends like that?
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
Dude. I am seriously trying SO hard not to be amused by Honey Boo Boo. But the fact is, she just got a mani pedi with her gay uncle Poodle, and he got a discount because he only has nine toes, and I am ALL IN.
You got pulled on stage by a stripper who wore ruffled ankle socks and did jumping jacks for her dance. Then you were put in a chokehold by a security guard that almost cried because you supposedly said "fuck you!" to him.
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
Change of plans & whoring it up tonight
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
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