thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
So... My dad just saw the Plan B package and the beer cans in my backseat.
Oh its cool I'm sure he already knows you're a whore and an alcoholic.
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
It was the third Sunday in a row that I woke up in his bathtub. So no our sex life isn't that great anymore.
No way. Our relationship is based solely on texting and sex. A phone call would be too much at this point.
He showed me one of his balls and said "this one's free. you'll have to work to see the other.."
Nope, sorry. Already took my bra off. All down hill from here. My next act will be crying, singing, and eating girl scout cookies in the shower. You can come watch the shit show though.
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
Well once I told her I had a girlfriend she actually got more aggressive. Then Danielle called me and she saw the pic of the two of us on my phone and immediately said "can my caller I'd pic be me sitting on your face" wtf?
I came so hard I burst a blood vessel in my eye. If i cant marry this girl, I'm gonna have to switch teams.
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
If I die on my walk home, please come claim the body. There is $30 in my left shoe for you....for pizza
I have tasted many bathrooms
Your dad was just slow dancing with the priest and holding a beer. Classic
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