I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
What. The. Fuck. No, you will not spank me.
That wasn't intended for you, my bad.
we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
got hammered last night, woke up this morning to 38 texts that varied from "you fucking asshole" to "i can be there in 10 minutes"
We raised our shot glasses and you screamed out "TO MY DAD FINALLY GOING TO REHAB!"
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
Wanna hang out, and by hang out I mean go get plan B... and maybe lunch, but mostly plan b
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
I told him he deserved someone better...then I told him he looked very fuck-able wearing nothing but sweat pants. We'll break up in the morning.
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
I'm dressed as a caveman and drunk so that's not really an option
Driving home this morning in my minion costume makes me rethink the 0 tint on my windows.
She wouldn't fuck me because I had a cast, so I took her friend home
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
One can only be this extremely wet once a year and I feel like I'm bitch slapping god by not using this gift he has bestowed on me.
Randomize
