Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
My vagina is so ashamed right now. It won't even look at me.
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
You know when you can feel the alcohol in your toes? That's a great feeling.
You are not allowed to borrow my car ever again. It smells like a hobo orgy happened in my backseat with a hint of onion. What did you do.
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
Dude, the coffee is horrible this morning, Cass changed something about it
We ran out of Bailey's Irish cream...
This is what regular coffee tastes like?!?! Fuck the adult life.
We've started traveling with Michael and Patrick so we can pretend we're two legit straight couples.
A charade that fell apart the second another couple on the cruse found Sarah face down in my box on an observation deck.
Also...I'm semi-dating the drug dealer that took me to bible study
You keep making the old jokes & I'm gonna come down with a sudden case of low-estrogen related vaginal dryness..
He played me Kanye.. Speaking my love language.. He got a well deserved BJ
he took my bra off with his teeth, THEN decided he just wanted to make out and cuddle. i don't know what the female version of blue balls is, but i've been living with it since 1 a.m.
I sprayed his whole room with my perfume and left lots of my hair on the bed. So now if he does bring her home, the bitch will know this territory is marked.
Yeah totally passed out in their trash can last night.
Randomize
