porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
Must be January. Theres a fat chick on an elliptical wearing khaki capris. Someone doesnt own any workout clothes
There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
guess who has a date tonight
look at you growing up, going on dates before she hops into bed
Now there's vomit covered trash all over the front lawn. I feel accomplished
I passed out leaning next to a light pole. When the cop woke me up at 4 AM, I told him I was a block away from the apt, just had to stop to make a puke pit stop.
When you wake up, just ignore the mess in the bathroom. I'll take her home when I'm off work.
Lets play hurricane shelter. And the shelter is my bed, and we forgot our clothes.
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
There are two guys dressed like Spartans from 300 at this bar and they're making out and I needed you to know this
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
My grandma just invited me to gate crash a funeral for the free food. Priorities.
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
Mandatory face masks - finally, a solution for lip augmentation failures and bad breath.
Randomize
