You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
I'm pretty sure you're not supposed to hit on someone with another guy's semen in your hair. not even at ihop.
I just don't see what's wrong with carrying a water bottle around.
It's not the bottle. It's the fact that you're drinking wine out of a sport bottle at 9 am.
I wish i could 80s montage me losing weight
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
Today is going to be the longest game of "was that a fart, or do I need to go wipe?" I have ever played. Maybe the most challenging too.
Good morning! Just thought I'd give you my yearly reminder that we lost our virginities 7 years ago, yesterday.
That's the best creepy text ever.
They took my balls.
Everything I own smells like cigarettes and victory right now. The smell is never coming out.
He fell backwards into a full bathtub but didn't spill a single drop of the beer in his hand. What a pro.
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
So they just told me that while I was being loaded into the ambulance the cop told them if they were good friends they'd post it on Facebook...
The subtweets were good enough
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
It is such a beautiful day to not be arrested
Randomize
