But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
Dude someone is playing the piano in the other room while I shit and it's making it really peaceful
She was drinking straight whiskey out of her peacock shaped vase again.
how you manage to cockblock me from 500 miles away still baffles me.
Only I can have a panic attack in the back seat of a cop car and have them move me to the front seat.
You pulled me aside and handed me a plastic childrens' tea cup full of 151 and said "trust me its a great idea"
JOY: That feeling when you crack open a handle for the first time, and the flow limiter comes off with the cap.
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
My bank account got hacked so he showed up with a 6 pack wearing a superman cape to cheer me up and you question why I love him?
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
Had a dream last night where I asked you how your Christmas was and your response was, “sex, man. Just lots and lots of sex.”
Good god. A spell so dry your friends actually commit it to their subconscious!
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