my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
He'll choke me during sex but he won't eat a strip of bacon. Vegetarians are weird.
Although I wish I was out drinking, this cough syrup has me slightly more optimistic than usual.. I heavily debating trying to find mystical creatures and selling them to rich people as pets
Well obviously when I get drunk my intelligence level surpasses yours and that's why you can't understand me.
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
Also, my aunt grabbed my phone and downloaded the scriptures. Apparently I need Jesus.
I am not getting you a goat.
Fair enough. I am not going out with you. The goat was not negotiable.
I almost put an adult beverage in my sippy cup for the beach but realized the next step would be rehab.
No the next step is being buzzed at the beach. I would've.
I want Walter White to make me a bologna sandwich while I'm chained to a support
You know that you're in a bad spot when the doctor puts you on 500mg of amoxicillin 4 times a day for ten days and puts refills on it...
Randomize
