i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
I hate bills.
Like ones you have to pay or people named William?
i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
So I have exactly 420 dollars saved up in tips from the past week. I win, and I take that as a sign from god that I am allowed to use that money to buy drugs.
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
My feelings are currently in a sea of vodka and "I don't give a shit"
Aren't they always?
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
The words "me," "sober," and "new years eve" do not go together. Ever.
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a Chick-Fil-A breakfast sandwich. How's your Monday?
In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
He said did you just interrupt me midsentence to admire another man's penis?
CUM CAME OUT OF MY NOSE. MY SINUSES ARE ENTIRELY FUCKED UP NOW BC OF THE CUM TRAVELING IN PLACES IT SHOULD NOT HAVE.
On the bright side, only one more day until we aren't sober anymore.
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
Got electrocuted a second ago, is it weird that I have a boner?
Randomize
