I dreamt I won the Huge Cock Championship last night. It was glorious.
Whoa. I woke up to 10 new text messages. All about bacon.
He was pretty out of it. He heard crickets outside, and thought it was the laptop. So he put his ear to it, rubbed the keyboard, and said "tell me your secrets."
Get over here. It's an emergency. Just realized I haven't hd my mouth on a penis in two weeks. Get over here.
My mail consisted of a box of dildos and christmas card from grandma.
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
I found your knife. It was stuck in my bedroom ceiling.
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
Running my fingers through my hair was like that scene in Patch Adams where the old lady got to swim in a pool of pasta. I love Molly.
Last night I dreamed that I got eaten out by Lego Harry Potter.
I'm in a corner eating carrots and drinking champagne. I've hit a new kind of low.
How is that low? I love carrots.
We christened the whole apartment and fucked on the balcony. It was amazing. I'm 100% sure downtown heard me climax. Now we can unpack.
I haven't showered. And am sitting in the office smelling like a beer can someone's been using as an ash tray.
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
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