That's the last time I try to be adventurous at a gas station
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
so apparently I plead the 5th to every question they asked me when they put me under the conscious sedation to set my broken wrist
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
I'm just gonna pretend you didn't ask me that. I'll sweep that shattered moment of our friendship under the shame rug.
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
I started rolling down the window so he pulled into a gas station and i puked all over the side of the car while some dude stared at me. I waved and we drove away
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
There's nothing quite like having a little 8 year old boy hand me a Bible on campus while I'm on my way to the health center because of my recent slutty tendencies.
Figured out how to triple bathroom speed at #lollapalooza.. Girl squats, guy 1 goes between her, guy 2 uses urinal. Your welcome.
Had the weirdest dream last night. If you're ever in Texas, do not come over with a 12 pack as a bribe and ask for a threeway between you, me, and my TA. I will take the beer though.
listen I will take literally anything I can get my tiny gay fingers on
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
Randomize
