The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
i woke up this morning cuddling with a 3 foot statue of Jesus. heaven here i come
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
If you bring me a slurpee and advil I will eat you out for like an hour.
Uggh answer your phone, you are the only one I know who'll be proud of what I woke up next to this morning .
After I finished inserting the catheter he said he thought my name was familiar. Didn't have the nerve to tell him he was my fifth grade teacher.
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
Sorry I couldn't make it...got a scrambled voicemail, all I heard was "Bring the dildo"
Sorry about flashing you in front of your mom.
I'm drunk at 3:28
I'm jealous as shit at 3:34
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
woke up and you werent here...its ok if we're never going to speak again but my furry hand cuffs are missing and i would like them back. thanks.
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
Randomize
