She tried to keep her legs crossed last night while doing a keg stand. Way to keep it classy.
She always acts like she's doing me a favor with a hand job. I've been giving myself hand jobs for almost 20 years.
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
I definitely think in addition to buying paint ball guns this summer we should invest in a breathalyzer. That way every drunk night turns into a competition, who can blow over the legal limit more. The loser gets shot while hungover. Shit goes hand in hand if you ask me.
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
I stole an accordion from the bar
Accidentally
I'm having ragrets about stealing the accordion
Alcohol won't break your heart. I mean, unless it's all gone maybe
Who's phone is in my pants and why did I wake up clutching a handle of vlad?
Hey how're your balls?
Don't ever let me helicopter again.
Randomize
