No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
he put on The Eye of the Tiger while she was in labor.
Would it be weird if I told you I thought of you when I masturbated?
Looks like I'm more than just your Mexico mistake...
I'd like to introduce you to my friend, Moderation. Enjoy each other's company this weekend.
Your friend and I already don't get along
The problem with never associating with your roommate is that you never know if they're dead in their room with the door closed or just gone for the weekend...I sprayed some febreeze just in case.
I got blood in my smoothie but it still tastes ok. Fuck glenfiddich.
I've justified worse with less. I had sex with your brother because he was wearing a nice sweater
Do you know how to get blood out of tile grout?
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
You introduced yourself and she said "wow that's a long name" and you went "yeah well you should see my dick."
I'm gonna have to get a lube sherpa.
So my plane's delayed and some guy is talking to "sparkles" he just told her to never again sell drinks from her cleavage. This is why I don't go home
They tried to get you to drink water and all you kept shouting was, "NO MORE LIQUIDS OF *ANY* KIND."
Liz Cheney wasn’t exactly on my list of women I expected to be saying “YAS QUEEN” for in 2021 but here we are
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