I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
Just because you were able to pour the entire bottle of wine into 2 glasses does not mean you took it easy last night.
He kept calling my vagina a magic clam, and it was speaking to him, telling him to feed it his penis. I played along.
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
Why am I getting texts saying are you ready for this butthole? Help
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
Hey sorry for being annoying last night, I just realized how many times I yelled "JORDAN!" during and after playing pong.
There should be a Doritos delivery van or something.
Long story short I shit on a sidewalk while walking with multiple people. Then sprinted around the streets of Tallahassee in only gym shorts as I tore my toga off and wore it as a cape.
This is the most aggressive rendition of that Proclaimers song I ever heard.
Drunk man just fell out of said wheelchair
Randomize
