I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
just saw bouncers outside a coffee shop. beginning to question humanity.
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
There are now half chewed girl scout cookies plastered to my windshield. Do you know anything about this?
On the plus side this hangover is the tipping point that finally convinced my lazy ass to get some sunglasses.
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
Tequila pump. I'm ecstatic your engineering degree has real world application.
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
I CAN FEEL MY HEART BEATING MY WHOLE BODY
It turns out my English teacher used to pose for Playboy. She's an inspiration.
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
I thought we agreed to no sexting at the school bake sale...
He gave his liver a pep talk before the vodka chugging started
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