Kirsten Dunst is sitting next to me in a bar in NYC
Tell her I want my money back for Elizabethtown.
I told my new friends about my possible new chin. They said I should get my nose done first. Please tell me I'm pretty or something.
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
She kept pulling joints out of her bra and asking strangers for birthday hugs.
people came up our fire escape and one had a cut on his leg and he was beautiful so i told him i was an emt and bandaged it with princess bandaids
About to be a 4Loko vomit fountain in 45 seconds, what color will it be? Animated birds will fly out of me.
I was wearing the shirt my little sister got for her birthday when the condom broke. I finally have it back to her and told her it was bad luck
Ran into his sister at the gym and hit it in the parking lot. I dont even feel like a bad friend she got a boob job and lost 20 lbs its not even the same sister
I forgot that places existed where drinking on Sunday is frowned upon. It's just so unreasonable.
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
He referred to his penis as "The Purple Headed Yogurt Slinger." I'm both disgusted and turned on
Randomize
