garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
I'm thinking he has to buy me dinner at least twice before i even start considering casting him for "Fuck buddy - understudy."
The kid across the hall found me in the hallway using a hot pocket box as a pillow. I said its okay I live here.
I told her I named my penis "The Spirit of Exploration." That's all it took.
Omg he has a washer and dryer IN his apartment and lots of back up toilet paper. I went home with an adult. My uterus is pumping out eggs beyond my control.
It's pizza for people who hate themselves. I rang the place up once i'd finished and told them if i was on death row it would be my last meal because by the time i'd got half way through it I would be begging to die.
But then I ordered two more because it was 2-4-1 and my life is a mess
You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
Post breakup Disney World may be my best idea ever! Tinkerbell just grabbed my dick and gave me a kiss! This really is the happiest place on earth!
Yes, bail money means jail. It also means lie to dad, do it now.
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
There is blood all over my sheets and no discernible source.
Randomize
