Dogs love guiness but it fucks up their kidneys
I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
Just had a nice conversation with my landlord while cleaning your puke off my car
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
You need to simmer down or I'm going to buy you a labia leash.
I think I just sold a snake to a stoned teenager.
Omg having my Grindr go off at the planned parenthood is just not okay
The guy who bit me so hard two nights ago that I had to put Neosporin on my nipple and the guy in my bed right now are two different people. Help
didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
I didn't know where you were for like 15 minutes and then I went in the bathroom splashing water on the mirror and throwing hand towels around saying that you were "redecorating"
I love that my family celebrates every holiday with a joint. Chanukah? Mazel-juana! Easter? What's more spring than the color green? Election day? What better way to celebrate democracy in action than medical pot?
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
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