Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
Last night after we fucked, I washed my vag in vodka so I wouldn't get an STD
Or, you could have used a condom
Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
The cab driver told me he hopes I look up to him as a father figure. Then he asked if I wanted him to take me to the hospital
you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.
ive got a scarf tied around my face holding bags of hashbrowns to it, im too boss to care
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
I was mid hand job and stopped me because he wanted to "connect" which meant putting his thumb in between my eyebrows and a hand over my heart and closing our eyes...
I actually just took 17 pictures of some guy at the gas station that needs to marry me now
I left her alone for a few minutes and she's already using a guy on his hands and knees as a chair while another guy is serving her margaritas.
I got a hand job after work. Remember those? From the 90s...
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
oh and i figured out why we kept smelling vomit. ive got vomit on my socks. putting the heater on my feet was not the best of ideas.
Randomize
