I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
Dude. Yeah. This is a game changer. I feel dirty and possibly pregnant and it hasn't happened yet.
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
At the ER. John needs stiches. Fuck pub trivia nights.
I've been continuously high for the last 48 hours, and just broke my 4th vibrator. Coincidence? FIND ME A MAN I BEG OF YOU.
I thought I was really making her scream. Turns out she had a Lego jammed in her lower back.
Topless, eating sour gummies, doing a crossword, at 4 AM. TELL ME IM BEAUTIFUL!
The neighborhood cougar just purred at me while I was doing yard work. I’m terrified and tumescent
Randomize
