from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
How crunk are you?
I'm a Tom Selleck. Zero being Tipper Gore and max being the Bush twins
I just don't have the heart to tell my mom you peed in our washer machine last night.
Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
He was probably pissed, but i couldn't tell for sure. How pissed can someone really look while holding a fishbowl mimosa?
There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
So, I without a doubt haven't used the bag I'm now carrying since we were dating. Just had to discreetly throw out an unopened magnum in a bus station.
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
i stood outside in the bushes for thirty minutes. Do you know how many drunk guys pee in bushes at 2 am?
She's chasing the cat around the house hitting it with a cardboard sword yelling "there can be only one!"
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
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