i just licked mashed potatoes off my blackberry. i'm not even ashamed to admit that to you.
you thought you were invisible so you started narrating your actions.
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
Why do I have flashes of a dark shed in my memory?
Because we had sex in one.
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
The hot tub didn't work. But it's okay because we discovered just how many people you can fit in a bathtub.
Apparently coming home smelling like I took a bath in beer is frowned upon in this household. I'm so glad I don't actually live here.
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
Not sure what time I'll be home. I'm currently topless and the damn stripper won't give me my clothes back
They're giving you narcotics aren't they?
If I offered to share would you come visit me?
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
How... how did you get Adam Lambert's shoes? Does he know you have them? DID YOU STEAL ADAM LAMBERT'S SHOES?! Oh my God I am so turned on right now.
Randomize
