shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
you jizzed all over me and yelled "makeover"
I'm at the grocery store buying monistat and corn nuts. thank god for self check out.
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
What's that word that means bigger and smaller and bigger and smaller, again?
Goddamn it, Jaime, it's 4am. Throbbing. The word is throbbing.
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
I just sent Brandon a snapchat where I wasn't wearing a shirt but had a rooster drawn on my boobs that said "cock block" and laughed for 10 minutes I have problems don't judge me
We can't go out this weekend. My uterus is so desperate it's given me permanent beer goggles
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
He was awesome with her today. I can't say that it didn't make my Fallopian tubes sing "The Hills Are Alive."
I sent her a video on Snapchat of me cumming, with a Father's Day snap filter that said "#1 Dad".
I just found three upside down bottles of grapejuice in a triangle around the air freshener above my toilet... I guess it was one of those nights
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