great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
I'm blazed at jack in the box and my order number is 420. I wish everything in the world made this much sense.
It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
Just drove past the dude that came in your sock
He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
I found him stumbling up to our building with a solo cup under his arm. . . He told me it was his favourite thing ever. He also told me hes never been drunk before.
Im going in through the window and borrowing her dog. Dont worry ive done this before. we have an agreement.
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
one of these days i'm gonna do a sparkly magical girl transformation into snoop dogg
I snorted xanax while wearing reindeer antlers. Prancer gone wild. Have a merry Christmas.
Dropped the bowl in the litter box. But it landed face up. What do I do?
Pregnancy has ruined porn for me. I can't watch a hot chick get it on without being jealous of her perfectly waxed shit. I can't even see my shit.
Randomize
