Just ran to the store on my way to the office to buy Diet Coke...the guy in front of me let me cut because it was 4 more minutes until 8am, so he wouldn't be able to purchase his vodka. I love Wisconsin
i just woke up in the woods behind my house in handcuffs and a dan marino jersey ive never seen before
hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
I found his retainer in my ass crack. It smells like shame.
Because i love you. And people show love by not letting their friends shit themselves.
I ran into the bouncer who kicked me out of that beach bar a few months ago. I told him I'd only been thrown out of two other places since then. He was proud.
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
And then we can spend New Year's Day sprawled across the tiles watching greys anatomy and puking into the bushes over the balcony. It'll be great
Just realized I could have five different dicks in me the day of valentines day but no real date. My life
I need to stop getting high and watching documentaries. Wanna go to Japan with me and protest the mass genocide of dolphins?
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
How was your night?
Good. I made people cry and run home
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