I woke up while squatting on top of my bed peeing on my comforter and my laptop
I just realized I have my pepper spray, gun, and vibrator all in one drawer. One false grab and I'm screwed either way.
I got rejected. By another girl. At a red light. In front of seven shirtless cyclists in the middle of the night. How is that normal?!?
Call me as soon as you're able to dial a phone. I just took a shit behind a building in broad daylight and need to get the fuck outta here soon.
Just smoked pot with a guy who has apparently been living in the woods for over a month. He just walked out of the woods. This is not real life.
The best part about drinking boxed wine is you can blow up the bag and use it as a pillow
omg i wish you could see the front of my car.
There's literally a dust print of your body and your arm trying to hold on and the other one where your fingers visibly dragged down the hood.
Why do I think he'd like to keep my hair in a box?
He was an asshole the entire night and then tried to touch my dick in a Michaels craft store.
Sooooo, no second date?
You know you were way drunk when you wake up at 7 AM halfway on a couch, tangled in a sheet with your shoes still on.
Totally thought something squeezed my boob. Then I remembered I was wearing a bra. Isn't weed great?
I was on the verge of being completely over him and then he went and made his Instagram not private... ITS LIKE HE KNEW
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
Randomize
