I am going to give you the keys to my place
Then I'll give you the keys to my heart
Gag me
well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
I threw up into my coffee this morning.
Everytime I sleep with him he gives me another hint to what his tattoo means. I'm like a slutty Nancy Drew.
Lesson learned. Whipped cream will eat through a condom.
He sent me a picture of his ass and said the backdoor is open. Almost grabbed my keys and a condom before I saw it was a group text. Not nearly drunk enough for his desperation.
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
He left in the middle of the night, he left his shoes behind and stole my doc martens..size 6 female. Wtf?
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
When you are old and getting humped by saggy balls every other weekend you are gonna wish you had more sex with freshly legal boys. Your vagina will thank you one day. Don't let her down.
im watching blue is the warmest color at the music box and this dude is literally masturbating 3 feet in front of me
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
Idk you're asking me for advice on dating bro, after I told you I got a convicts number today.
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
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