that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
I am full of burrito and curiosity
These 5 days benders will be the death of me. Just living and breathing is a struggle right now.
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
I just taped a plastic bag to my ceiling for the next time I have to throw up on the top bunk. Why am I so good at college?
The mass text at 3:12AM offering "free scrotum tastings" will have repercussions
he quoted the bible to break up with me
I stole another quarter from the bathroom. I'm slowly getting rich drinking here.
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
High Amy loves you. Sober Amy is unsure, but she's not here so fuck that bitch.
Thanks for letting me use your ID, there's $120 along with your ID in the mail to cover the Urinating in public fine I got last night....sorry
Boobs are out for the taking
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
I feel like it is our duty to make homophobic people more afraid of us. They're never going to change, but maybe we can get to a "wrath of god" kind of worship-him-or-he'll-destroy-you-with-his-care-bear-stare type thing.
Randomize
