Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
I just found a bottle of gin in my vegetable crisper. Party is back on.
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
For the first time in my life, I paid for my own alcoholic beverage last night. Am I getting ugly?
To be honest, kinda.
You left for an hour, then walked up to us at the bar, pulled 80 dollars out of your bra and yelled " drinks are on him".
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
Slow dancing with the chandelier.
Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
As much of a hooker as I am you don't slam where you drink
Does being an adult mean drunkenly signing for your tax return from a foreign country? If so, I've reached adulthood.
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
I'm going to smell of sex and shame.
How is that different than any other Monday night?
He motorboated me, gave me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
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