I think your x's eyes are broken his new girl is so hit
I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
Yeah, but I'm out of licorice and there's no way anywhere near here will rent us all mopeds on a Tuesday night.
i didn't know falling asleep in the tbell line could get you a dui. Isn't everyone there stoned or drunk?
What started as a "classy" double date ended with Jeremy and I tripping our balls off and talking to the refrigerator while the girls cried on the couch and questioned where their lives were heading.
There's not an emojicons for I think I ripped my asshole and want to die.
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
Going to the ER, I'll explain later but apparently drunk me isn't allergic to peanut butter.
It's important to establish I slept with her BEFORE we officially became cousins-in-law.
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
When he pulled out it sounded like a balloon deflating
Her hot older sister walked in on us, looked me up and down, then stared straight at her and said "I call sloppy seconds on this one" then left. I'm still debating on how I feel about that.
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
Randomize
