Did you just see the Batmobile???
we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
The best thing he's ever done for me was comment on my profile picture saying "hello boner"
If I die on my trip, you're my chosen person. Nightstand-vibrators. Computer-iphoto naked pictures. I hope you feel honored.
New rule : you aren't allowed anything . Ever .
I need a gatorade, my back cracked, my crimper, my shot glass, a sock of rice and an explanation.
You did this to yourself.
Did you blow the guy you weren't supposed to hook up with again in the bathroom of pita pit? Cause that happened last night...
I think you're my mermaid sister. Separated at birth, by sea.
He was trying to talk to me about standards while he had a french fry box on his hand like a glove and was using it to flatten his cheeseburger.
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
You know how I said I hit my head so hard I saw two of him and tried to make out with both? Well, it turns out he has a twin.
We're too hungover to prance.
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
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