someone threw a dead crab at me
I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
You can't have your penis and eat it, too.
It's sad the highlight of the night was you didn't electrocute yourself again.
Just had a tv talk show interview in my mirror. Got into to some pretty heavy shit man, would have made good viewing.
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
I immediately knew he was tripping, he came over with a grocery bag of snow balls and a bike helmet on and asked if I was prepared to die for my country.
I tried to light my cup as a bong. I'm done drinking
But I made it seem like I wasn't hungover at work, so that's a plus.
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
I'm kind of pissed I'm not hungover, that means I could have totally drank more last night.
God does not give you boobs that amazing to not share them with your friends
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
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