my brain is sober enough to have a conversation.. but my arms feel nice
Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
I need to find out who his wife is so I can fuck her before he gets to mine.
hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
I really wish I didn't have to wear pants this is ridiculous
I love her so much that if I could have sex with her I wouldn't cuz my dick would feel out of place in such a perfect body/vagina
Taking the airport shuttle drunk should not happen this often in my life.
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
So apparently after I spilled candle wax down the front of my pants, I went to the store, bought condoms, and passed them out to everyone at the bar.
I thought they were lying to me about the condoms, until I found the receipt in my pocket.
When is the right time to ask your new roommate for her school schedule so she doesn't walk in on you fucking some rando in the kitchen in the middle of the afternoon?
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
Randomize
