There's a girl here with sideburns. I gave her your number, you can thank me later.
I will give everyone a free pointer today. Here it goes, always pee by the house late at night to avoid getting shot by drunk bastards with guns. Never go by the tree line.
tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
They should have to wear some identification that warns you to stay away. Like one of those cones dogs wear to keep them from biting stitches. CONE OF SHAME.
how many lesbians have to have their hearts broken before they realise I am not that kind of DJ
I'm a hopeless romantic that likes rough sex. Judge me
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
I woke up today in my boxers hugging a log and realized that I think I've gotten close enough to nature. I really need to stop doing shrooms with you
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
I just spent the better half of my Friday night alone, naked eating McDonalds. Not my worst start of a new year
What is more embarrassing, shitting yourself in Mexico or having sex in a forest preserve with a 19 yr old? This is crucial research.
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
I just did my taxes to sober up, I'm THAT hungover
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