I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
my passenger side seat is covered in alcoholic jello with a nude mannequin in it
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
Whats your number? 5 or more?
Cinco. It sounds smaller in Spanish.
I'm sure you can think of a way to make money.. God didn't give you boobs that awesome to waste them feeding your children..
Ugh he's so pretty though. He bit my face at the bar because I tried to steal his ID and I forgave him
After I was kicked out of the last frat I blacked out, woke up in the hospital with no clothes no phone and no idea what happened last night. But i got hospital socks, thats a win in my book.
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
just got permission to expense a nerf gun
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
Excuse you? I'm an asshole at least 90% of the time. Get it right.
So, I found your eyebrow, someone glued it in between my eyebrows so I looked like I had a unibrow when I went to work...
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
Randomize
