I don't know how much more of summer my liver can take.
im sorry, I just can't fuck a guy who can't receive picture messages
Please don't tell me I was shouting "I'm bleeding from my vagina" in front of my ex-boyfriend and his new girlfriend.
theres a wall by my room thats like, a prime fucking wall. before i move out SOMEBODY is gonna fuck me on that wall, goddamnit.
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
Well on the plus side I have started adding benefiber to my bottle of wine
You're on Grindr at the STD clinic. I love you.
I'm getting turned down for sex. Apparently my "sexual appetite" cannot be satiated even by a man who's such a deviant he went to prison for jerking off in his car.
I'm about to start putting my tampons in the microwave for a few seconds these plastics applicators and this weather don't mix
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
My drug dealer is giving me a 15% veterans discount on my weed for nov 11th
That's the best thing I've heard all week.
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
soo... how was my night?
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