She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
I woke up this morning to the buzzer on my oven going off... I cooked fish sticks at 425 degrees for 5 hours last night. my house smells awesome
i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note.
You spelled "worthless" wrong.
I just had a 30 minute fake cell phone conversation with myself just to avoid hooking up with the drunk guy next to me. its like an art form.
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
Is it going to be one of those nights where I shouldn't wear my contacts so everyone looks more attractive?
What about.....a game of twister and....wait..nevermind. I've hit my cap for sexualizing things today.
Some days you just pee in a stairwell and go home.
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
Life is my bitch right now. The bouncers tried to carry me out of the club, but everyone thought I was crowd surfing so everyone carried me BACK IN. Winning as fuck.
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
Can I chase this vodka with an onion?
He was stoned and starts screaming, "I ain't got but a dollar, I wanna hear waterfalls!". Maybe he can hang with us....
Randomize
