thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.
Woke up in a kilt. And it's not my kilt. Drinking was a success.
We found her in the fireplace eating dog biscuits.
Aaaand I cut your bangs with a large knife last night ...
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
Just lectured your brother about using condoms when hooking up with girls he meets online. I should be a fucking life coach
When he wakes up tomorrow with half shaved legs smelling like a preteens bathroom, I'm sure he will think he has had a great evening
I didn't know what to say so I just sent him a chicken emoji
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
he had a bulletproof vest and a pocket full of lollipops! how was i suppose to say no.
I just realized I had arrested my one night stand from last night...
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