Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
today is my dealer's birthday. i dont know whether to give him the day off or call him saying happy birthday ill take a quarter please
there is no way i can order from that cashier at in n out after she tried helping me while i was drunkenly puking in their bathroom at 11 am
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
My dad wants to dress like mitt Romney tomorrow night and tell trick or treaters they owe him candy.
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
You gotta buy me dinner first. Or smoke me out. Both are equally chivalrous
You were so stoked after landing that flip that you dropped acid with three random guys without hesitation
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
You passed out in my backseat like a legitimate infant. A really drunk, really horny infant
Randomize
