i just google imaged poop.
I just fell off my chair and knocked over the table. People are staring. That hungover.
Did you seriously take investment advice from our coke dealer?
And I can taste the vodka through my ears. Good god.
Just got super judged by a walmart cashier for buying diet pills and candy in the same transaction. Like she has her life figured out.
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
I woke up this morning and the lid to the back of my toilet was missing. Dahfaq do I do with this shit?
It was like coming out my mothers vagina again in slow motion
I though he and I knew each other well enough that we could go to my hotel room to do a bunch of cocaine together without their being any homoerotic implications, but NOOOOOOOOO!
He seduced me by making me nachos. It worked.
Today is going to be a great day. He just brought me a donut on his dick... It's Sticky Dick Donut Day!!!
Say whatever the fuck you want about me, but leave my deceased cat out of it.
The only reason you haven't shit yourself yet is because you don't like having fun.
I dont understand why i cant be a wizard
Randomize
